Sunday, 15 June 2014

A note to my Dad on Father's Day...

Dearest Daddy, 

There's something I want to come out and say
as I miss you achingly on Father's Day...
It's something I've always known and felt 
But never managed to express....
This feeling that my heart will melt...

Since you 'grew me up' and sent me, 
With a hug and 'do me proud'
(as I took your blessings at my 'vidaai')
I've wandered across the timeless ocean
With a deepening sense of sad, self-doubt....

Although I see the past like a mirror,
No memory too small to hide,
I still so wish we were together,
With you right here by my side....

As time goes by I realize the folly
Of holding on to the chimera of life,
For now I see as plain as daylight
What it really takes to be a wife....
It took me away from all I knew,
And everything I ever lived with,
in the hope of something new...

Now all I ever pray for
Is that in every future lifetime
God makes you my daddy again
For only in your loving company
Do I, your child, my trust regain...

I miss your voice
your face,
your laughter
your eyes
your singing
your scolding
(with infinite love, may I add...)
For only when I became a parent
I could see the courage you've had

you were my Father, always,
then mother and friend,
and guide and conscience

and I know this to be very true
this is what I'd say 
if, by some grace divine, I see you

I never say it as often as I feel it,
think it 
and know it
My dearest Dad, 
you're my rock, my anchor, my hero,
and always will be my ideal man!
yours, Ruch

13:55 Hrs

P.S- They say it's very hard to live for others, lose your soul-mate and still carry on, be a Father AND a Mother to teenagers, live each day learning something new- even if you're in your 40s, 50s or 60s...
They say it' takes a special kind of man to put his wife and family first, even before his own career, dreams and goals...
They say life is a journey, not a destination; live each day like it's your last, and love each moment like it's your first...
I only say, Daddy, in living with you, loving you, watching you and learning from you, I have seen you do all this and more!!
Years ago you told me, with a hug and a brave smile, as you bade me goodbye to start a new life with my husband, "Ruch, I know you will do me proud ".... all I can say is in every moment of my life when I feel helpless, doubtful, alone or sad, I imagine you are with me, encouraging me, talking to me till all my troubles disappear, no matter what hour of which day I call you and everything starts to make perfect sense...I hope that someday, I make you as proud of me, as I am of being YOUR daughter!

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